Yet ever striving for perfection
Independent. Self-sufficient
But still longing for affection
I am love. I am beauty.
Sometimes anger, sometimes pain
I am energy and purpose
Like a fast, incessant train
I am light within the darkness
Yet my shadows come and go
Ever changing, never stagnant
Sometimes high and sometimes low
I am open. I am hidden.
Often difficult to find
Afraid of moving forward
Afraid to fall behind
I am weary. I am lonesome.
I am broken and unsure
Wanting to be strong and certain
Accepted and secure
I fall and I get up
I bend and stretch so thin
Often searching for an answer
That is buried deep within
I hold steadfast to my truths
And am afraid to let them go
Living fully in the questions
Would mean I do not know
I am constant contradiction
Yes and no, right and wrong
My melodies are changing
Like the makings of a song
I am whispers. I am roars.
I am quiet. I am loud.
I'm a body in a room
One voice amidst a crowd
I am living in dichotomy
Yet somehow I am whole
A strong, vivacious being
But still a newborn foal
I am learning. I am teaching.
I can see and yet am blind
I am free to be myself
But I often feel confined
I am distant. I am present.
I surrender then I fight
I live and breathe in color
Though the world seems black and white
I strive for the impossible
While I know it is not real
Ever seeking out achievement
And forgetting how to feel
I want to be authentic
Fully open and exposed
A wondrous contradiction
Love and fear both juxtaposed
So I am human, ever human
Though I often times forget
I am full in all my mystery
Not to be solved quite yet
-C. O'Connell-
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